I was born, then I was a small child, a big child, later a young adult, and then I arrived here where I am today. It’s been a great journey, but now I’ve taken a bit of a leap and kept myself busy for a while with what I might call unconventional things.
So, at the age of 47, I was given a big task. Recovering from a stroke that even doctors didn’t think was possible at first. Maybe they wouldn’t believe it now either – because that’s what doctors are like? –, luckily, I’ve rarely had the pleasure of seeing them recently.
So the stroke. I was pushed into the deep end for nearly a month by the doctors. I mean deep anaesthesia, because in that way, it was less complicated for them to have me on a ventilator. Oh well. The brain haemorrhage also affected the respiratory center. Because it was bleeding, and I can tell you, nerve cells don’t like that. They drowned. Or something like that. And in addition, and because of that, my entire left side was frozen into immobility.
Then I’ve chosen life. I’ve woken up from the in-between space where I have been for this one month. My plan is to write about these, I’m gonna try to put these almost indescribable pictures into words. Unfortunately, I have not taken real photos. I have forgotten to bring my favourite digital camera.
It was only after waking up that the fun and giggles really have started. I’ve started on this bumpy road from the ability of eye blinking. I mentioned, that my left side was resting, but in addition, due to a lot of being in horizontal position and the lack of movement, my right side also took itself out of use. Since I wasn’t moving, my brain thought I didn’t need my right side either.
After a month, I finally ate my first bread with butter. I mean they fed me. I mean with tomatoes. I wish all people could have the same orgy of taste I had then. The joy of chewing after a month of mushy food. As tomatoes mix with bread and butter. Yummy. And for the record, I couldn’t eat alone for about six months. I couldn’t reach my mouth. Scratch my face? Ah.
After two months I could sit on the edge of the bed, hunched over but alone. I mean, if someone stood me up. The time of using the wheelchair has begun. Do you know how much the sitting can hurt after two months of lying down? No, I don’t think you can. And I think it’s better that way.
Now I’m finally home. After 3 months, 3 hospitals. My right side has become my better (functioning) side, I write using my right hand now. The left one is resting. If I used my left in my writing, I think you’d just read nonsense for a while However, now I eat alone, I wash my face alone – by the way, it’s funny to see – I can turn on my side in bed, I’m learning to walk with increasing success, I can use my computer.
And not to be left out, by being able to use my computer, I started to create. Specifically, to create music. I hope that you will be able to listen to more and more of my own music here on my website. Unfortunately, the condition of my arms does not yet allow me to play real instruments, but I try to give similar experiences with virtual instruments in my music. Since I am inspired by a wide variety of music, beside of fully electronic music, acoustic pieces also appear. I hope you find something that touches you.